


Mantra

by BlackKittens



Category: Big Hero 6 (2014)
Genre: Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-08
Updated: 2019-07-08
Packaged: 2020-06-25 00:05:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 702
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19734373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlackKittens/pseuds/BlackKittens
Summary: At least his daughter is safe, Callaghan tells himself over and over. At least his daughter is safe.





	Mantra

At least his daughter is safe, Callaghan tells himself over and over. At least his daughter is safe.

He has a lot of time to think in his cell. He's alone. He's without company. And he's in the fallout of a tragedy of his own making.

It was easy in the heat of the moment to not care. Revenge took priority. It had been Tadashi's own fault for wearing his heart on his sleeve. Callaghan had waited until the end of the exposition for a reason.

Nevertheless, the lack of regard for human life had been there. That's why he had accepted it when his manslaughter charge had been turned into a second degree murder charge. If anyone had gotten hurt or killed in the fire, or at Krei Tech, or when Hiro and his other former students had discovered him, then he didn't care. What had to be done had to be done, and all else was collateral. So he hadn't cared in the slightest what happened or to who.

The argument could be made Callaghan only felt guilty now because he hadn't succeeded. He only apologized in the court room because he was looking at the rest of his life in prison, especially while Krei continued to walk free. The argument could be, and he's certain has been, made against him. He doubts anyone would believe otherwise.

Callaghan would not say he hadn't been aware of his actions at the time. He had been. He'd known all the risks with each step and hadn't cared the tiniest iota. He hadn't been insane or forced into it. His actions had been all his own. He is as guilty as guilty can be.

But he would say reality has crushed him hard since his incarceration. A bright young man with a helpful heart who could have been the next Robert Callaghan of San Fransokyo or Albert Einstein of the world is dead thanks to him. A bright young man with a helpful heart who had only been trying to save his life. A bright young man with a helpful heart he had enjoyed having the pleasure to teach in class. A bright young man with a helpful heart whose family now had to suffer what he had for Abigail for the rest of their lives.

Callaghan's feelings towards Krei are mixed. He doesn't regret attacking him personally, and isn't sure he ever will. If he could, he'd still love to wrap his hands around that cretin's throat. Krei's neglect had stolen his beloved daughter away from him after all, had cost her years of her life she'll never get back.

But the others, the countless, nameless faces he'd traumatized and could have hurt, the group of students he's tried so hard to murder, and the one he'd inadvertently killed... Reality has sunk in now, and Robert believes he can say with clarity that he regrets it.

The only good that came out of that disaster is Abigail's rescue. Thanks to Hiro Hamada and Tadashi's creation, Baymax, she's alive and well.

It has to be make up for it, he thinks, it has to. No one, not even himself, had thought she was alive on the other side and would have looked for her. It's only because of this horrifying mess she's okay.

It's a thin string ready to snap at any moment, but it's the only string Callaghan has to live with himself after all he's done.

At least Abigail is safe. At least his little girl is safe. It feels hollow inside to cling to, but he's glad she's safe.

If he doesn't repeat this to himself like a mantra, he thinks he'll drown in his own remorse.

He'll drown because he took a life. He'll drown because he attempted to take more lives. He'll drown because he hurt so many. He'll drown because there's nothing he can do to right all his wrongs.

So Callaghan repeats to himself the only highlight of the whole disaster. It's his buoy in a sea of guilt.

At least Abigail is safe. At least his daughter is safe. At least she's safe now.

It's easier to focus on that than face what he's done.

**Author's Note:**

> I guess I felt like writing angst? (Again.)
> 
> Callaghan's one of my favorite villains because of how gray he is. He's undoubtedly a dirtbag while enacting his revenge plot, but he's also doing it out of love and grief, has some great parallels with Hiro, and he adds a nice sense poetic injustice to Big Hero 6's plot. (Also Yokai is just plain cool and the car chase scene feels like a horror scene.) I enjoy depictions of him as a monster who doesn't feel any guilt for what he's done and depictions where he does. Both work for me. In this fic, I chose to portray him as remorseful to the point he can't stand to face what he did. I might write another some other time where he's not. I think both are fun characterizations to explore.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed!


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